Today went to church..
Meet up with Kamy they all at Clementi MRT Platform,
I took bus there because I lazy to take MRT.
Okay, I was late. HAHA. Sorry.
Erm.. When I reached, we took train ahead to Expo for service.
Booked sits for others,
then me and Kamy went outside to buy some food to feed our stomach.
Met Evelyn and that person, so coincident..
Me, Evelyn, Kenneth & that girl are late for prayer meet.
5.30pm start service.
Sermon was good, but I accidentally fall asleep..
Is about the book of Jonah.
You can go Faith's blog to know more about it.
So after Pastor Kong had finish preaching,
he asked us "Who are angry? Upset ?" and asked us to raise up our hands.
So I raised up..
Then he asked us for those who had raised up their hands to come forward.
So me, Kelly, Leibing and Delicia went forward and the other people as well.
When I stood at my position, I heard a voice telling me to cry out.
So I kept crying and crying all the way, my heart felt painful and heavy..
Oh man.. This is my first time that I cried until so Cham.
Many things had happened in my life, it was so such a tortured for me.
So I had done sinful things, like doubt God and angry with God etc..
Sometimes we tend to angry and get upset with God,
because some things that goes the way that we don't want it to be.
Things like:
Why is this happening to us?
Are You the true God?
Why didn't You hear our prayer?
Why didn't You help us when we need Your help?
Are You the right God?
Why am I the stupid one compared with another person?
Things like this..
At the alter call, I telling God all my Xin Shi that I bear it for very long.
I puked it all that I wanna tell Him.
I really can't take it, I really feel like committing suicide..
I really feel that I'm the dumbest one among in my cell group.
Why God wanted to create me
so stupid, idiotic and do all things which will turned what I don't want it to be ?
Why I can't be a person that is clever, famous and prosper like others does ?
Why God ?! Why ?
I felt so tired of complaining all this..
If God has created me to be like this with His own purpose,
I guess I should leave all this to Him and stop complaining.
I lifted it up all my burden that I have to God.
I believed this time round, He will do miracles for me.
"God, if You are the true God which is righteous and holy,
You created everything that You have spoken out from Your mouth.
You do great miracle things that we can't imagine.
You have bless back what we have blessed the others.
For I am Your child, I want more that I have mention it here.
I want more of You, I want a great miracle that I can't even imagine.
I'm so desperate for You, O Lord."

Service was good, but it ended quite late.
After service, went to Calvin's grandpa wake.
Before going to his wake, we actually went to eat first then we go his wake.
So scared of going there, because I never go other people wake before.
Only I had only went once that is my Grandfather.
After we went to his wake, we went home already.
Such a tired day for me.

I will hang on.